New Roads

Goodness. Kam is 4 months old, grabbing everything and putting it in her mouth, talking ALL the time, rolling to her side, and being all together a great kid. We have gotten spoiled with her sleeping through the night since she was 6 weeks old, but the past 3 weeks or so she wakes up hungry. Again, not a big deal. We wake up for 20 min and she goes straight back to sleep. Seriously, most easy going, laid back kid. I'm so grateful God blessed her with these attributes.
School for me is great. I love clinic and patient interaction. I even like the few classes I am still in, but am ready to stay home for a few weeks with Kam during break. Jon is doing well also, we are both just ready to graduate and move on the the next step academically- Jon on to seminary, me on to dental school. Poor KD, her parents will be in school FOREVER.
Speaking of "next steps" this Baker family is on the move. We have been invited to go in view of a call to FBS Perkins for the full time Youth Pastor position. We are both excited as to what is to come.
To be really really honest, I am following Jon on this one. When the first called for his resume, I thought, "No way this will happen." However, after several God ordained situations and circumstances, Perkins called for an interview. Again, I thought, "No way." But once again, God spoke loud and clear.
I'd be lying if I said I was nothing but 100% excited about this. Don't get me wrong, this is a great opportunity for Jon, the community is a perfect fit for his ministry and what he feels called to do, BUT- NOWHERE in my plan of life was moving to Perkins, OK. A few things: 1.) I'm a city girl. Like, major sissy, city girl. I can't handle camping and outdoors living and such. I prefer malls, nice restaurants, and indoor activities. 2.) I'm a Sooner. I have gone to OU fro 5 years, and plan on another 4. I go for OU. Always. I would sell my left arm for the chance at meeting/kissing/hugging/freaking out at Bob Stoops. Sherri Coale knows me by name, I have more crimson in my closet than anything else. Moving 10 minutes away from Stillwater was NOT the plan. 3.) I have absolutely zero dental connections in this area of the state. Job wise, I am going here blind.
I can tell you all the reasons why I am feeling the way I am, but all I need to remember is this: Jon is not just called there- WE are. I know God has called me to be a dentist just as much Jon has been called to be youth pastor. But he has also called me to be pastor's wife. And that means trusting, following and obeying to HIS plan. Even when it is polar opposite of what my little mind had stewed up.
So, although it it bittersweet, Jon Kam and myself are off. I find comfort in knowing we are in the safest place- His will. That's the only place I want to be.
So pray for me, pray for Jon as we make this adjustment and transition. I feel I may be stretched out of my comfort zone, but I know God is going to use this as an opportunity of refinement and building.
By the way, Perkins is a great little town. From the little bit I've seen, it's a quaint, nice little area. If I had to live in a small town, there is no reason Perkins wouldn't be chosen (well, minus this whole OSU nonsense.) Again, we are excited and ready to move forward and see what God has in store for us.

Blessed,
Sarah

Welp, She's 3 months old.

Where did the time go? I mean, really? Whoa.

A few stories I need to get on record so I don't forget. Enjoy.

To set this up, Jon had to be out of town for 3 weeks for the Air Force. Ick. I played the role of single mom for awhile and have decided- I hate it. And to be honest, KD is a wonder child. She sleeps through the night, plays by herself when I lay her down, when she wakes up, she will just lay in her crib and gnaw on her hands. She is more patient than I am. I am fairly confident I cried more while Jon was away than she did.

Here's a doozy:
Me and Kam have had a bit of a cold. Just runny nose and sneezing, nothing major. I am changing her diaper- a manifestation of pure immortal power it seems, and get the sneezes. I turn my head the first sneeze. Whew. THEN the second one comes, I turn completely away form the changing table, inhale deeply, and cover my entire mouth with both my hands. My hands that head been changing a diaper. A poopy diaper. You can fill in the blanks. Let 's just say, I used an entire bottle of mouthwash and still gagged. All the while Kam just smiled her toothless grin as if to say, "Heh. You're a dork mom." I Know. Lesson learned.

And another:
I have a problem buying KD bows. I don't consider it a problem. Jon does. Anyways, one of her new ones has glitter on it. She wore it 3 weeks ago. Tuesday morning I had to get to class. I had a patient that boring and was running late. I still had to drop K off at daycare. It came down to either myself or KD getting bathed. I may have lost mother of the year, but went ahead one put Kam down in her crib and I hopped in the shower. I was rushing hoping that maybe I could get Kam a bath to get all that glitter out of her hair. Normally, I would just let her be, but leaving the glitter is evidence to the daycare I didn't bathe my child. Crap. I finish getting ready and turn on the sink for Kam. I go into the bedroom to grab her and she has pooped. Everywhere. On the sheets, on there back, we are talking full fledged shoulder blade action. I pick her up, throw her in the sink and start washing. HINT: always bathe your kid BEFORE you bathe. I had to change scrubs, dry parts of my hair and KD still had that glitter in her hair! I get her dropped off and as I'm sitting there in clinic talking to my patent, I realize as I uncross my legs, "Why are my pants so soft on only one leg?" One second later and I recall- I only shaved one leg. Showering. It's an art these days.

Jon is home now, KD has been bathed several times (glitter is STILL adhering to her tiny little head), I survived.

At 3 months, she loves sitting up and looking around. Only time she wants to be held laying back is when you're feeding her. Yep, that's my daughter. She reaches for the mobile, smiles at faces, not just farts anymore, she can stand really well, and if you put her on her belly and put your hands on the bottoms of her feet, she will push off and inch her away forward. We are close to rolling over completely, we get to the side and her arm gets stuck. Once she is mobile, it's a whole new ballgame, so I'm fine if she were to NOT move. She has proved she is a Baker. She will just start making noises of all different pitches and sounds. Jon and I are waiting for that first actual laugh. We look like idiots trying to provoke it.

October is about to start. My favorite month. Big changes ahead of our little family.

All is well- we are happy and healthy. Kam has changed our lives forever and I wouldn't go back for anything. (Minus the poop mouth).
Thanks for reading, hope you smiled.
Blessed,
Sarah

To my little one,

Hi sweet girl.
Your dad and I love you more each day. You are one of the few things that scares us beyond belief, but we love you even more because of it.
Just so you know- you have hair bows. Cute hair bows. And you have clothes. Cute clothes. You better work on your 'Pretty Girl Rock' right away.
Your dad and I are busy preparing for you. And right now that means focusing on school. Your dad has school, Guard drill, church, softball, basketball, and apparently finding you the perfect Thunder outfit. We love our Thunder, girl. I've been tweeting KD constantly to try and get him at the hospital to be one of your first visitors.
I've been trying to find you the perfect babysitter for next year. Every part of me wants to stay at home with you, but the best way for me to be your Mom is to finish my school and finish it well. Same with your dad. I promise NEVER to leave you with the following:
-people with nasty teeth.
-someone who cannot properly put on and maintain your fabulous hair bows.
-a hippie. Do not get me started little girl...
-a teen that cannot go a day without updating their facebook, tweeting what they had for dinner, telling their myspace how great their boyfriend/fiance/husband is everyday, uploading pictures taken of themselves with their phone in the mirror
-Blake Griffin.
We aren't quite sure who will get to watch you yet, but just know your Dad and I are very picky about who we are going to let into your life. We already want the best for you.
Love you sweet girl.
Mom

Verge

Busy. Busy is the name of the game these days. Jon just simply amazes me sometimes....

We just finished Disciple Now this past weekend at Chisholm. 50 kids. Jon not only organized the entire event from meals to bible studies, but came up with a theme that was perfect for the state of the group.

Verge. On the verge. As a youth group waiting on their new youth pastor, Jon's heart has been to not just be interim, but be a spiritual leader and prepare the hearts of our teens for the new man to come. He has done so beautifully. The teens were challenged to pray daily for their new pastor, and wait with anticipation, not fear. He taught the value of not just 'waiting' but doing. We had JUST finished the weekend and he was already bouncing ideas off of me for the summer. 

Brag session warning: Jon does what I never could. Several times during his new position I start to think, "Why is he working so hard to lead a group we have to eventually leave?" "Why build these strong of relationships and ties to these teens, only to have to break them a few months from now?" "Why not ACT like an interim?" Jon is not your typical interim. Regardless of the title- Jon has been PASTOR to those teens. He cares so much more than any other interim could. He is investing in these kids every week, planning every event, praying every prayer, KNOWING in a short amount of time, we will not be here. We won't get to complete the work. He knows a day will come when goodbyes will be said and both of us will have a new ministry in another place. At times it seems impossible to me that God can call us anywhere else. My insecurities of finding a church that could even measure up to Chisholm overwhelm a willing heart sometimes. It seems the more success the youth group has, the more I cling to my plan that somehow we will never have to leave. Again, JON does what I can't. His leadership not only over the youth group, but our home remains constant. He seems to understand that God is not going to call just him, but both of us. He is confident that although our plans within the next year are uncertain, ultimately He has a plan and all we must do is respond. And wait. Patiently. With a humble heart and calm and righteous spirit. (Ok, I think we all know which one of us is struggling the most here.) Don't get me wrong, whomever the new youth pastor is, Jon and I pray for him, for his wife or family. We pray the transition is smooth and the kids immediately fall in love with him, find trust and friendship, and follow him spiritually and buy into his vision. I guess secretly this whole time in the back of my mind I'm hoping somehow no one will wnat to come to Chisholm and all along we've just been praying for ourselves. Yes- I'm that delusional at times. Like CHBC isn't going to find anyone? Get real. With the staff we have, the PEOPLE we have and the vision and plans our church has, youth pastors will and have been applying by the dozens. They just simply have to choose the best one. Whoever the new guy is, he will be blessed. 

This weekend I finally faced reality that Jon and I are on the "Verge" ourselves. WE are the ones standing on the Jordan, about to be called to a new place with new people, and a new home. As much as Jon had been telling the kids to not just wait, but be preparing, he was telling ME to be preparing for our new circumstance. Jon always says I'm the passive aggressive one, but he ruled the day this weekend. He knew sooner or later I would relinquish my own plans and learn to trust. Not just trust Him, but him. Not just trust that God wasn't going to lead us astray, but that Jon wasn't going to let anything happen to this family he first hasn't anointed with prayer. For me, it's a scary place to be not being in control and not having my plan. Jon however is perfectly comfortable here. He has amazed me how he has handled everything. 

Still, it's bittersweet. At times, more bitter than sweet. CHBC is all I have known. I never envisioned leaving. That was never a part of my plan. Of course I'm biased, but I believe my bias is justified. My dad is one of the best. An educated speaker, a tender heart not only for his congregation but for missions, a vision that is constantly seeking to be in the center of God's will, I could go on and on. He is not just "Dad" to me but also MY pastor. And to have my father-in-law as our worship pastor- blessed. Musically, David is also one of the best.  His voice is one my favorites and I would buy his CD any day. But beyond that, David has an enthusiasm unparalleled. He is called. He obeys his calling, and does it WELL. The thought of being anywhere else and not having those 2 around breaks my heart at times. Add in all our friends and family that have not only seen Jon and I grow up, but helped raise us, this preggo bag of hormones just can't handle it somedays. CHBC is my home. Finding a new 'home' is an oxymoron to me right now.

Good thing my husband is wiser than me. Good thing my husband has a calling so strong, his obedience isn't wavered. Good thing my husband understands His will is not to harm us or bring pain, but to prosper us. Good thing my husband has a Joshua 1:9 heart. Good thing. It's a very good thing.

Blessed,

Sarah

Dear little girl,

Hi little one,
Your dad finally felt you kick. He was amazed and so excited. You are a bit of a tease. You would kick one right after the other, and the second your dad would get his hand on my belly, you'd stop. Funny little thing, aren't ya?
We are in our third trimester now! 3 months from now and you will be here. I can't believe it. I am so anxious to see what you will look like. For some reason I am fixating on your hair. Will it be straight, wavy, curly, blonde, brown...?
No matter what, I know you will be the cutest most precious baby girl I have ever seen.
I think you like when I exercise. You kick all over the place after I'm done. Good thing, because we registered for a running stroller for you. Me and your dad (and your grandpappa) can't wait to have you with us at the first 5K. Your dad has already bought you your first pair of Nike's:)
Keep growing strong little girl.
Love,
Mom

5K Rollercoaster

Wow- It's been awhile since my last blog. School started getting quite demanding. I survived midterms and when my spring break came, before I knew it I was back in school. I registered during the break and that about did me in!

I had/ still have no concept of what all a baby needs. Good Lord, I was so overwhelmed. Figuring out the whole car seat, carrier, stroller situation just about did me in. And do NOT get me started on the entire breast pumping situation. I was embarrassed just registering for the actual pump. I refused to put any of the accessories you supposedly need for it on the registry. They all make me turn red just reading what they are! After 4 hours at Babies R Us I think we got everything covered. Who knows.

This past weekend your dad and I ran a 5K. Now when I say 'ran', that mostly means waddle. I went into it thinking I would have a bit slower of a time, but it would still be respectable. After the first mile, and me at the back of the pack, my emotions started the roller coaster. Here's a recap:

Mile 1: "This is great! I am feeling good, and quite proud that I'm six months pregnant and can still be active. Pat on the back, good Sarah. Good Momma."

Mile 1.5: "Phew. I am really tired. This hurts more than normal... Wow- lots of other runners are passing me this time... I'm gonna slow down and walk for a bit."

Mile 1.6: "Am I literally dead last?! Did that fat girl just pass me?!"

Mile 1.7: "This baby is changing everything! How can I be dead last? This is all because I'm pregnant! I hate Jon right now! I refuse to be last! REFUSE!"

Mile 1.8: "Well I obviously cannot catch up to the next person. Crap. I got it! I will cross the Finish line backwards! That way technically I beat my daughter!.... She should have to work and train to beat someone. I refuse to let her celebrate mediocrity...This will be a good lesson for her... You have to work to win anythiing...."

Mile 1.9: "Sarah- you are a terrible mother. What mom in their right mind would thinkthis way? Your daughter will change everything. IS changing everything. YOU don't get to be first anymore- you shouldn't WANT to be first anymore. You put your daughter first always- in every aspect of our life. Get with it Sarah Bryan!" (When I get onto myself I still yell "Sarah Bryan!" in my head.)

Mile 2 through 3.1: "Just keep running. Just keep running. Just keep running. Waddle, waddle, waddle..."

I finished. I crossed the line and finished. All throughout the race all the helpers who were passing out water or telling us where to turn would be unenthusiastically clapping. Then as I came up, and they could tell I was pregnant, they each would suddenly get a burst of energy. Their shouts of encouragement and high fives SHOULD have pushed me. SHOULD have made me feel better. But to be honest, while I was running it ticked me off. I wanted to shove their pity cheers right back into their throats. (I'm gonna blame that on my adrenaline and pregnancy rage.)

Needless to say, I was worn out in every way imaginable afterwards. The next day, my hips hurt quite a bit, but overall I felt great. There are a few more 5K's I normally run in the spring- hopefully I have it in me. We'll see!

Blessed,

Sarah

To a healthy baby, from a sick mom....

Well little girl, your mom and dad are pathetic souls today. Monday I woke up with a nasty cough, and by the end of the day I was under the weather to say the least. About an hour after your dad left to play some ball, I got call saying he was leaving and on his way to the after hours clinic. Some xrays and prescription later, your dad busted his ankle up pretty bad. I called in sick to school which is the first time I've voluntarily done so and me and your dad laid around the house all day. He was in too much pain to move, I was too sick to stay conscience for more than an hour. About lunch time when I was trying to find some food for me and your dad with exerting the least amount of energy possible it occurred to me: Lord help us. This was a rare day when I was perfectly happy with you being in my belly instead of out here in the real world. I don't know what I would have done. With an exam looming tomorrow, a last minute patient calling and canceling their appointment, your dad grumpily laying on the couch, and me sounding and feeling like a 86 year old hitch hiker with a smoker's cough, I couldn't imagine adding you in the mix at that moment. I was grateful all I needed to do to keep you happy healthy was to keep breathing, stay away from certain medicines, and feed you some grub. We got through today. I'm currently studying, your dad is bathing, and the world will be better tomorrow. Don't worry though- once you are here with us, you will be more than taken care of. Meanwhile, you keep growing healthy and strong. Someone in the family should be!

Love,
Mom