I had/ still have no concept of what all a baby needs. Good Lord, I was so overwhelmed. Figuring out the whole car seat, carrier, stroller situation just about did me in. And do NOT get me started on the entire breast pumping situation. I was embarrassed just registering for the actual pump. I refused to put any of the accessories you supposedly need for it on the registry. They all make me turn red just reading what they are! After 4 hours at Babies R Us I think we got everything covered. Who knows.
This past weekend your dad and I ran a 5K. Now when I say 'ran', that mostly means waddle. I went into it thinking I would have a bit slower of a time, but it would still be respectable. After the first mile, and me at the back of the pack, my emotions started the roller coaster. Here's a recap:
Mile 1: "This is great! I am feeling good, and quite proud that I'm six months pregnant and can still be active. Pat on the back, good Sarah. Good Momma."
Mile 1.5: "Phew. I am really tired. This hurts more than normal... Wow- lots of other runners are passing me this time... I'm gonna slow down and walk for a bit."
Mile 1.6: "Am I literally dead last?! Did that fat girl just pass me?!"
Mile 1.7: "This baby is changing everything! How can I be dead last? This is all because I'm pregnant! I hate Jon right now! I refuse to be last! REFUSE!"
Mile 1.8: "Well I obviously cannot catch up to the next person. Crap. I got it! I will cross the Finish line backwards! That way technically I beat my daughter!.... She should have to work and train to beat someone. I refuse to let her celebrate mediocrity...This will be a good lesson for her... You have to work to win anythiing...."
Mile 1.9: "Sarah- you are a terrible mother. What mom in their right mind would thinkthis way? Your daughter will change everything. IS changing everything. YOU don't get to be first anymore- you shouldn't WANT to be first anymore. You put your daughter first always- in every aspect of our life. Get with it Sarah Bryan!" (When I get onto myself I still yell "Sarah Bryan!" in my head.)
Mile 2 through 3.1: "Just keep running. Just keep running. Just keep running. Waddle, waddle, waddle..."
I finished. I crossed the line and finished. All throughout the race all the helpers who were passing out water or telling us where to turn would be unenthusiastically clapping. Then as I came up, and they could tell I was pregnant, they each would suddenly get a burst of energy. Their shouts of encouragement and high fives SHOULD have pushed me. SHOULD have made me feel better. But to be honest, while I was running it ticked me off. I wanted to shove their pity cheers right back into their throats. (I'm gonna blame that on my adrenaline and pregnancy rage.)
Needless to say, I was worn out in every way imaginable afterwards. The next day, my hips hurt quite a bit, but overall I felt great. There are a few more 5K's I normally run in the spring- hopefully I have it in me. We'll see!
Blessed,
Sarah
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