We just finished Disciple Now this past weekend at Chisholm. 50 kids. Jon not only organized the entire event from meals to bible studies, but came up with a theme that was perfect for the state of the group.
Verge. On the verge. As a youth group waiting on their new youth pastor, Jon's heart has been to not just be interim, but be a spiritual leader and prepare the hearts of our teens for the new man to come. He has done so beautifully. The teens were challenged to pray daily for their new pastor, and wait with anticipation, not fear. He taught the value of not just 'waiting' but doing. We had JUST finished the weekend and he was already bouncing ideas off of me for the summer.
Brag session warning: Jon does what I never could. Several times during his new position I start to think, "Why is he working so hard to lead a group we have to eventually leave?" "Why build these strong of relationships and ties to these teens, only to have to break them a few months from now?" "Why not ACT like an interim?" Jon is not your typical interim. Regardless of the title- Jon has been PASTOR to those teens. He cares so much more than any other interim could. He is investing in these kids every week, planning every event, praying every prayer, KNOWING in a short amount of time, we will not be here. We won't get to complete the work. He knows a day will come when goodbyes will be said and both of us will have a new ministry in another place. At times it seems impossible to me that God can call us anywhere else. My insecurities of finding a church that could even measure up to Chisholm overwhelm a willing heart sometimes. It seems the more success the youth group has, the more I cling to my plan that somehow we will never have to leave. Again, JON does what I can't. His leadership not only over the youth group, but our home remains constant. He seems to understand that God is not going to call just him, but both of us. He is confident that although our plans within the next year are uncertain, ultimately He has a plan and all we must do is respond. And wait. Patiently. With a humble heart and calm and righteous spirit. (Ok, I think we all know which one of us is struggling the most here.) Don't get me wrong, whomever the new youth pastor is, Jon and I pray for him, for his wife or family. We pray the transition is smooth and the kids immediately fall in love with him, find trust and friendship, and follow him spiritually and buy into his vision. I guess secretly this whole time in the back of my mind I'm hoping somehow no one will wnat to come to Chisholm and all along we've just been praying for ourselves. Yes- I'm that delusional at times. Like CHBC isn't going to find anyone? Get real. With the staff we have, the PEOPLE we have and the vision and plans our church has, youth pastors will and have been applying by the dozens. They just simply have to choose the best one. Whoever the new guy is, he will be blessed.
This weekend I finally faced reality that Jon and I are on the "Verge" ourselves. WE are the ones standing on the Jordan, about to be called to a new place with new people, and a new home. As much as Jon had been telling the kids to not just wait, but be preparing, he was telling ME to be preparing for our new circumstance. Jon always says I'm the passive aggressive one, but he ruled the day this weekend. He knew sooner or later I would relinquish my own plans and learn to trust. Not just trust Him, but him. Not just trust that God wasn't going to lead us astray, but that Jon wasn't going to let anything happen to this family he first hasn't anointed with prayer. For me, it's a scary place to be not being in control and not having my plan. Jon however is perfectly comfortable here. He has amazed me how he has handled everything.
Still, it's bittersweet. At times, more bitter than sweet. CHBC is all I have known. I never envisioned leaving. That was never a part of my plan. Of course I'm biased, but I believe my bias is justified. My dad is one of the best. An educated speaker, a tender heart not only for his congregation but for missions, a vision that is constantly seeking to be in the center of God's will, I could go on and on. He is not just "Dad" to me but also MY pastor. And to have my father-in-law as our worship pastor- blessed. Musically, David is also one of the best. His voice is one my favorites and I would buy his CD any day. But beyond that, David has an enthusiasm unparalleled. He is called. He obeys his calling, and does it WELL. The thought of being anywhere else and not having those 2 around breaks my heart at times. Add in all our friends and family that have not only seen Jon and I grow up, but helped raise us, this preggo bag of hormones just can't handle it somedays. CHBC is my home. Finding a new 'home' is an oxymoron to me right now.
Good thing my husband is wiser than me. Good thing my husband has a calling so strong, his obedience isn't wavered. Good thing my husband understands His will is not to harm us or bring pain, but to prosper us. Good thing my husband has a Joshua 1:9 heart. Good thing. It's a very good thing.
Blessed,
Sarah
No comments:
Post a Comment